How do you react to jealousy?
We’ve talked gratitude, we’ve talked abundance versus scarcity, and now let’s talk jealousy. Oh yeah. I know we have all had those gut punch feelings when we see another mom succeeding in business. Or in life. Or in having Pinterest worthy home or Instagram-able vacation.
This mindset strategy will help you flip the script on those gut punches and use that jealousy to boost you up rather than hold you back. It may take a few tries and a bit of practice to undo the inborn feelings of defeat, shame, or wanting to throw in the towel because “why both if she’s already done it.” But if you are willing to take a breath, evaluate your feelings, then use that energy as motivation to propel you forward rather than holding you back, you too can conquer your jealousy and use it for good.
Before, you might find yourself lying in bed after a social media scroll having rage-y thoughts about “why does she get to do all this”. Or “I would be so much better than she is if I was doing that”. Or “there’s no way her life is actually like that…she’s such a fake.” But have you taken a minute to analyze why you are reacting the way you are? Could it be…jealousy???
And you may be thinking “that’s not jealousy, I’m just tired of everyone faking it on social media.” But, real talk, why do you even care if there wasn’t the smallest part of you that deep down wanted a piece of that life? Wanted the chance to see if you were the mom in that picture, would you feel happier, more fulfilled, or think life was more enjoyable?
You can have that Pinterest perfect, Instagram worthy, relationship, family, business, home, and life if you stop whining and start working. The only things different between you and Insta-mom is that she learned to harness the power of her envy and jealousy to propel her forward before you. But don’t worry, there’s plenty of time.
When you start focusing on what you can have and what you can achieve versus what you don’t have and haven’t achieved, your mood is better, your work is more focused, and your drive is engaged. As much as it might feel good to bash another women’s progress to make yourself feel better in the moment, in the end, the only person who loses is you…because she loses nothing when you’re jealous of her.
And as with so many mindset victories, when you use your jealousy for good, you show up more positive, you’re work is more focused, and most often, you’ll make more money. And let’s face it…everyone in your house appreciates when you make more money.
Flip the Script on Jealousy
So how do we stop letting jealousy tell us we need to quit. That we aren’t good enough. That we will never get where we want to be.
And how do we start using that feeling in our belly to motivate us? To be the driving force that says “if she can do it, I can do it, too!” To examine what we’ve been doing and figure out where we can invest more, become more efficient, or delete what might be holding us back.
First…recognize the feeling.
Second…identify the root of the reaction.
Third…rephrase the jealousy.
As an example…you’re scrolling Facebook and you see a friend from high school on an amazing Disney vacation. You immediately recognize a wave of jealousy that you can’t/haven’t taken your family on an amazing Disney vacation. You identify that your feel jealous because you feel like you cannot afford a vacation. Then you rephrase the jealous reaction to a motivation to research Disney vacations, start a savings account, and work towards taking your family for a similar experience. Recognize, Identify, Rephrase. It takes some practice, but I think you can do it.
Now is the time to stop wallowing because you don’t have her life. Start using your jealousy as a motivator. Remember, we all have the same number of hours in the day as Beyoncé. We can all work hard, build an empire, and have an amazing butt if we put the effort in. Or we can just sit and be jealous from afar.
Want to take action on your jealousy today? Write down something you’ve found yourself jealous of recently. Then follow the 3 steps…you’ve recognized the feeling, now identify why you’re jealous. Then rephrase the jealousy as a motivation. I’d love to hear how you’re reframing your jealousy. Comment below and let me know how you’ve flipped your script.