Boundaries & Mom Guilt - Business Savvy Mama Podcast

How to Create Boundaries Without Mom Guilt

Mom guilt wreaks havoc on the mindset of mompreneurs…

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Ever put boundaries in place to protect your time and energy only to find that stupid mom guilt rears its ugly head and wrecks your plans? Yeah, me too. That’s why today we are discussing how you can create strong boundaries and ditch the mom guilt.

Do you ever say “yes” then resent saying “yes” because it means you’re making a sacrifice? Feel like you’re always doing but never for yourself? Would you like to feel like you control your schedule? Enjoy the activities you participate in? Or want to spend time with family instead of feeling like it’s out of obligation? Then you need to create some boundaries. And we’re going to talk about how you can do it without feeling mom guilt. Or wife guilt. Or any number of other guilts you feel when you put yourself first.

Establishing clear boundaries allows you to identify and communicate where you draw the line, how much you can handle, and when you know you have reached your capacity. Going over the line or over capacity leads to resentment, frustration, burnout, feeling disrespected, and a multitude of other generally bad feelings towards our work, our clients, our families, and even ourselves.

When we clarify our limits, communicate our boundaries, and practice protecting them, we also protect ourselves from all that comes with living an over-capacity life.

For too long, our society has honored overworking and overcommitment. We glorify moms who don’t sleep because they sacrifice day in and day out their kids. We honor business owners who ignore their families and personal needs to get that 6 or 7 figure success.

I can understand why you would feel exhausted, anxious, depressed, frustrated, confused, or just plain burnt out. It’s grueling grind. Not to mention, the moment you find time and space for you, there’s a little voice in the back of your head saying “doesn’t your child need you right now?” or “a good mom doesn’t need a break from being a mom.”

There is a way out of this vicious cycle…establishing and communicating clear boundaries to your spouse, kids, clients, team, and whoever else you make commitments to helps you take control of your time and energy. In time you can better focus your time and energy on what you truly value.

You will squash the feelings of resentment or anxiety you feel about letting people down. If they know you’re at capacity and they try to breach it…that’s a them problem not a you problem. You will also gain back time and energy for doing what you love and nurturing you. Rather than constantly tapping yourself out for the sake of others.

And speaking of others, creating and recognizing your boundaries will help you learn to better respect other people’s boundaries. You’ll improve your relationships because you can ask about their limits and respect their capacity.

What Boundaries Are and Are Not

Before I share my simple steps for creating boundaries without feeling guilty, I want to address some of the resistance I hear from my community to setting boundaries.

  1. Setting boundaries is NOT ignoring people or causes you care about. But setting boundaries is about focusing your time and aligning your energy with what you truly value rather than spreading yourself too thin.
  2. Setting boundaries is NOT cutting yourself off from family, friends, or activities. However, setting boundaries is scaling back so you don’t go too far or run overcapacity.
  3. Setting boundaries is NOT selfishly limiting your options. Setting boundaries is making time and energy choices that align with the values of a healthier, happier mom entrepreneur.

I’m not saying setting boundaries is going to be easy, especially at first. Mom guilt is a beast. Setting boundaries is a skill that takes a bit of practice. But the more you practice, the easier it will become. The more you will see the benefits of protecting your time and energy. And you’ll tame that mom guilt beast with a present, happier mom during her non-work hours.

Creating Boundaries without Mom Guilt

Here is my simple, 3 step approach to start successfully creating and communicating boundaries…

  1. Identify where you need boundary…What gives your anxiety? When does your heart start to flutter? Where do you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”?
  2. Communicate your boundary with the person or people it may affect…This is a super important and often overlooked step. And that can lead to resentment. You know, when you set a boundary but don’t tell anyone. Then they violate it and you get angry. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything. For help with steps one and two, check out episode 81 “How to Communicate Boundaries in Work and Home Life” where I give you an easy exercise to create a personal boundaries statement.
  3. Create positive boundary reminders…Because let’s face it, just because you create a boundary doesn’t mean those guilty feelings are going away. Mom guilt will still nag you. People may try to get to you agree “just this one time” or say “we really need you”. You may feel the urge to backtrack on your boundary after saying “no”. This is where you remind yourself why you put these boundaries in place. Repeat to yourself statement like “It’s OK to set boundaries”. Or “Feeling guilt doesn’t mean I made the wrong decision”. Or “I am not responsible for people’s reactions to my boundaries”. (That’s the one I have to remind myself of regularly.)

Today’s action step to help you create healthy boundaries without mom guilt is to identify where you need a boundary. Then communicate that boundary to the person or people affected. And finally, pre-write some positive boundary reminders for when you feel like you want to break your own rules.  Remember, putting other’s wants and needs first all the time runs you down. Then you, in turn, will turn to others to meet your needs and you could potentially violate their boundaries, either intentionally or unintentionally. Creating healthy boundaries disrupts this cycle.

And if you need help identifying where you need boundaries or communicating your boundaries with your clients or family, I’m here to help. On a free, 15-minute clarity call we can discuss where you feel stuck or spent and how I can help you go from Busy to Blissful as a mompreneur. You can sign up for your free call at bit.ly/bsmbookacall today. I believe you can create strong boundaries and crush your mom guilt.


Ready to experience better mental, physical, and emotional health without sacrificing additional time and energy? Let’s jump on a free, no-obligation 15-minute clarity call to see how I can help you experience more fun & fulfillment in your work and home life.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE CALL.

High Performance Mompreneurs - Business Savvy Mama Podcast

4 Simple High Performance Habits for Mompreneurs

Are you a high performance mompreneur?

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There are so many things you need to run your business. From computers to software, to classes and marketing. But how much time are you investing in the most important asset of your business? Yourself! This week we are discussing high performance habits for mompreneurs and why it is so important for you to take care of the you part of running a business. And easy ways you can work this care into every day. And to be clear…we aren’t talking specifically about “self-care” in the traditional, although it is technically self-care. It’s more of creating habits to maintain a healthy mind and body so you can continue serving your customers, creating amazing content, and stay healthy to care for your family.

Benjamin Franklin said, “When the well is dry, we know the worth of water”. Too often as both moms and entrepreneurs, we allow ourselves to run down before we take the time to care and nurture our bodies and mind. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are simple, everyday steps you can take to take care of yourself to stay healthy, stave off burnout, and limit common entrepreneur mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and depression.

If you can commit to making incremental changes to your daily habits involving your mind, body, sleep, and downtime, you too can stay happy and healthy as a mompreneur.. Often, we separate our physical or social life from our business life. But they actually all work together. And the more harmonious we can make them, the better our overall health and mindset will be. That’s what makes high performance mompreneurs.

How Mompreneurs Benefit from High Performance Habits

If you’re stuck in a loop of grinding it out or hustle, hustle, hustle when it comes to your business but feel like your relationships, physical or mental health, or sleep patterns are suffering due to this hustle…it’s time to care for and protect your most important mompreneur asset…you!

When you adopt these habits you’ll be able to better cope with truly stressful situations. And not let the small stuff throw you off your game. You’ll be able to stay physically healthier to show up for your family and your business.

You’ll sleep better which will help you show up more focused, creative, and alert for both your business and home life. And you’ll make time for the people who matter on a regular basis.

If the hustle is keeping you from spending time with your family, spouse, or friends, then what good is that hustle. Let’s nurture our relationships that matter while nurturing ourselves AND growing our business.

Simple Habits for High Performance Mompreneurs

Here are four areas where you can uplevel your “you care” to become the high performance mompreneurs you need to be. Those areas are your mind, your body, your sleep, and your relationships.

  1. Mind – And real talk, if your first reaction to hearing the word “mindset” is “that’s such a buzzword” or “what a fad”, you are probably the person who need mindset the most. Just saying. There are so many simple ways to incorporate developing a growth mindset into your daily routine. Start a gratitude practice. Start an affirmation journal. Meditate. Flip the script on failure to see it as a learning experience. Loosen your grip on “it’s my way or the highway” and find places you can adapt, modify, or edit. When you are able to see the abundance in your life, believe in who you are, stay present, learn from what doesn’t work, and be open to alternatives you will be a happy and healthier entrepreneur…no question.
  2. Body – For far too long I thought of my physical health and my entrepreneurial life as two separate things. And when I realized that I needed to keep my body healthy in order to run my businesses as an optimal level, it’s like a lightbulb went off. Just like you need your computer to be healthy and up to date if your work is done on your laptop. Or a truck driver needs to maintain their rig. Your body is the key to your business success. It generated the idea for the business and continues to generate content, growth points, new ventures, or is just doing the work day in and day out. You need to keep it in optimal working condition. Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Take vitamins. Drink plenty of water. Reduce alcohol consumption. All of these habits work together to help keep your body in peak working order so you can tackle the daily duties of running your business. And all these healthy habits work even better when you focus on our third habit…
  3. Sleep – And I know, depending on what stage of motherhood you’re in, you might be like “um, what’s sleep?” But part of the reason you might feel unfocused, unproductive, unable to remember thoughts, or uncreative could be linked to lack of sleep. Sleep is when your brain and body reset and repair. Getting the proper amount of sleep leads to better concentration and productivity. It can also help you stave off an array of mental and physical health issues like weight gain, diabetes, and depression. Not to mention, it boosts your immune system to help keep you healthy. Getting a good night’s sleep may mean keeping your phone outside your bedroom. Or choosing not to watch one more episode of the show you’re binging. Or creating a bedtime routine that helps you fall asleep faster. A little effort but so worth the reward.
  4. Relationships…The final important habit to keep your mompreneur body and mind healthy is to make time for your important relationships. Date nights with your spouse. Play dates with your kids. Coffee dates with your friends. Is there an activity with friends or family you’ve been putting off in order to “get work done”? Or do you think you’ll make time once you’ve reached a certain point of success? The truth is…burning yourself out and neglecting relationships that fill your cup will slow down your success. Take time to step away from your work to spend time with the people you love doing what you love. You will return with better focus, more creativity, and more energy to complete the tasks you need or want to do.

Your action step to start creating high performance habits as a mompreneur is to start pivoting your daily routine with the suggestions given today. Don’t try to do it all at once. Especially if it is all very different from what you are currently doing. Small, incremental changes on a regular basis are more sustainable.  And you are more likely to stick with them until they become part of your routine. As opposed to going whole hog and giving up after a week because it’s just too much change at once.

Find simple, subtle ways to incorporate mindset shifts like starting a gratitude practice or writing a daily list of what you accomplished. Nurture your body by finding time to exercise 2-3 times per week or limiting alcohol consumption to the weekends. Find nights during the week where you can get a few extra hours of sleep to allow your body and mind to reset and recover from all your ask it to do. And schedule some downtime with your spouse, your family, or your friends to step away from work and focus on fun. You know I love when you focus on fun!

If you find you’re struggling with incorporating these habits for high performance mompreneurs, let’s talk about how I can help. When you schedule a free clarity call with me, we’ll review your current goals, discuss your schedule, and clarify your priorities to make sure all the parts of your life your value are getting the time they need and deserve. You can schedule your free call by visiting bit.ly/bsmbookacall. You can have the successful business and fulfilling family life you want. Let’s work together to make it happen.


Ready to experience better mental, physical, and emotional health without sacrificing additional time and energy? Let’s jump on a free, no-obligation 15-minute clarity call to see how I can help you experience more fun & fulfillment in your work and home life.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE CALL.

Find More Fun - Business Savvy Mama Podcast

How to Instantly Find More Fun as a Mompreneur

Is it possible to easily “find more fun”?

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The answer is a resounding “yes”! Think of it like this…When you start a gratitude practice, you quickly start to recognize all the things you are grateful for throughout your day. I believe the same can be true to find more fun. And it’s easier than you might think. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustly bustly life of running a family and a business and forget to stop and smell the fun roses.

Chances are you do experience some sort of fun or activity you previously thought was fun on a daily basis. You’ve just decided it was normal. It’s become a baseline and therefore you no longer recognize it as “fun”. Or you’re so busy that you’ve scaled the activities you enjoy back to their most basic form which you don’t deem “fun”. Can you make the mindset shift that an activity is enjoyable? Or you can make a task amusing? Or can you prioritize finding fun in your day? If you can, you will start to recognize it’s easier to find fun than you think.

Want to enjoy your mompreneur life more? Make the mindset shift that you do have fun or you’ll find more fun every day. Rather than all work and no play, you’ll experience pockets of fun and pleasure every day. And as I love to point out in the Fulfillment-Productivity cycle…when you feel more fulfilled, you’re more productive. And when you’re more productive, you free yourself up to find more fulfillment.

You can find more fun so simply and easily with subtle mindset shifts. For instance, if you order pizza every Friday night, it might not feel fun anymore. But how could you reframe or make it fun? Make your own pizza? Try a new topping combo? Or a new pizza place? Even just hyping it up by talking about at breakfast…”Hey, it’s pizza night? Are you guys excited? I am”

It is so easy to think our lives are mundane or lack fun. Because we’ve let fun become normal. But in the textbook definition of fun, it means something you find enjoyable, amusing, or entertaining. I bet there are parts of your day your find enjoyable, amusing, or entertaining. Watching your kids play? Drinking your morning coffee? Watching TV with your spouse after the kids are in bed? It’s time we recognize those normal or regular tasks we do that we find enjoyable, amusing, or entertaining as FUN!

Why You Need to Find More Fun

And you might be thinking “I just need to shift my thinking to find more fun in my day?” Yes. Yes. And yes. It is all about perspective. Instead of rushing from one thing to the next without taking time to enjoy it, your life might feel lackluster or boring. But when you recognize what you enjoy, appreciate what amuses you, or stay present for what entertains you rather than rushing to the next thing, you’ll feel the benefits of finding more fun.

Benefits that include lower our stress levels. You know, the stress that negatively impacts both your work and family life by causing frustration, a short fuse, sleeplessness, and a myriad of mental and physical health issues. Fun combats stress…“pew-pew-pew”

Daily fun might be moving your body in a way you find fun to balance out your hormones. Or laughing every day to increase the gamma function in your brain. Because through this gamma function, laughter literally heals the brain for better memory function while reducing feelings of depression, anxiety, and sleeplessness. Laughter is truly the best medicine!!

And there’s no denying that having fun creates better relationships with our spouse, our kids, our friends, and ourselves. Think about the last time you truly stepped away from all your mom duties and submersed yourself in fun with your spouse, family, or friends. Did you fall asleep with a smile on your face? Did you wake up the next morning feeling rejuvenated and with more energy to tackle your day? I want to help you find more fun in every day so every day can have this level of enjoyment and enthusiasm.

How to Easily Find More Fun

Where do we start finding fun? Here are 3 questions to ask that help you immediately find more fun every day:

  1. Can you recognize what you enjoy about your day? I started by comparing fun to gratitude in the sense that once you start to recognize it, you see it everywhere. What do you enjoy about your day? Or what is amusing about your day? What is entertaining about your day? Make a note of these things as they occur. Stop and relish the moment. Recognize that it is fun.
  2. Can your reframe to find fun? I get that not everything we do every day is considered fun. But for those tasks and activities we have to do but don’t find enjoyment in, can we reframe to find fun? If we hate creating social media content, can we find enjoyment or entertainment in the responses or connections we make with our community? If we dislike doing the dishes, can we find enjoyment in our clear sink and clean kitchen? Reframe what we don’t like to find the enjoyable or amusing parts of it.
  3. Can you make it fun? Mary Poppins said “in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun”. How can you make those tasks and activities you dread or don’t particularly like to do fun? For instance, I HATE folding laundry. I’m am totally guilty of letting clean clothes sit in the dryer or baskets for days even weeks. That is until I instituted my Friday Laundry Folding nights. Because my husband works early Saturday mornings, my family is all in bed by 930pm Friday nights. This is the time when I get to watch my shows like Bridgerton or the Friend’s Reunion or any number of YouTube baking tutorials uninterrupted and for as long as I like. And I enjoy these shows as I fold the laundry (and usually while sipping an adult beverage). I have figured out a way to make something I do not enjoy fun.

Your action step to immediately find more fun in your life is to recognize the parts of your day that you do enjoy. Your morning coffee? Family dinner? TV time with your spouse? Relish in what you do that you actually enjoy. Then, find ways to reframe tasks you don’t love in a way that makes them enjoyable. Is there an outcome or result that you enjoy? Focus on that rather than the part you don’t enjoy. And finally, find a way to make the un-fun fun. Listen to your favorite podcast while doing dishes. Make recipes that bring you joy when you dread cooking. Create a bedtime routine with your kids that includes enjoyable, calming activities so you end the day on a positive note.


Ready to experience better mental, physical, and emotional health without sacrificing additional time and energy? Let’s jump on a free, no-obligation 15-minute clarity call to see how I can help you experience more fun & fulfillment in your work and home life.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE CALL.

How to Create Margin in Your Mompreneur Life - Business Savvy Mama Podcast

How to Create Margin in Your Mompreneur Life

What do you think of when I say “create margin”?

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Terms papers? Profits? The fact is, margins are key to maintaining a balanced schedule as a mompreneur. That’s why we are talking about this important and often overlooked boundary…how to create margin in your schedule. Last week we talked about the importance of rest to stay healthy and productive while juggling your business and home life. This week we are diving into a specific sort of rest break. A full stop, transition space between tasks and activities to help us catch our break. And to help prevent feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overscheduled.

This quote nails it…

“Margin is the boundaries, the rest that is built into your every day life.  It is the space between our load and our limits. Margin is the gap between rest and exhaustion, the space between breathing freely and suffocating. It is the opposite of overload.”

While I couldn’t find exactly who said this, I think it perfectly sums up margin and why you need margin.

When you can commit to creating space, a buffer zone, or emergency fund for time in your schedule, you will feel less stressed and anxious. You can take time to enjoy the current task or activity you are focusing on because you aren’t worried about what you didn’t finish before and what you’re rushing off to next.

Continuing to jam one activity after another after another into your schedule isn’t sustainable. Well, not if you want to feel present in your life. Or like you can actually breathe.

And I get the desire to do it all…you want to serve all the people. Do all the things. You want your kids to experience all the activities and have all the things. You want your house to look like Real Simple magazine or cook recipes from Martha Stewart every night. But there will come a point when you feel exhausted, overwhelmed or out of control. You can either break and burnout or start to prioritize.

Having margin means you’re less full and less rushed. You have time and space to breathe. To transition from one activity to the next.

It means the tasks and activities on your schedule are intentional and bring you or your family joy. It means you have time to finish and close out your work mom life and transition into home mom life without feeling anxiety because tasks and activities overlap, intermingle, or slam into each other day after day.

Your clients and team can benefit from a more prioritized and streamlined schedule because you can focus and show up energized. And your family will also benefit from this “less is more” approach to activities. Kids’ brains, especially in adolescence, are already overloaded and overstimulated without piling extra activities or running around on top of what is already expected. Think of this as an opportunity to be a shining example of the ebb and flow it takes to stay healthy mentally and physically as an adult.

4 Strategies to Help Create Margin

Ready to create margin in your schedule? Here are 4 strategies to help you streamline your schedule and create more buffer zones between activities.

  1. Schedule Transition Time…This is the biggest offender I see in my clients and community when it comes to an overloaded schedule. There just isn’t time between. We eat dinner in the care while we rush from soccer to Girl Scouts. We schedule Zoom meetings back to back without a chance to get a sip of water or go to the bathroom. And when we neglect transition time, we run late. We have to cancel. Or we just run ourselves down. Your brain needs a chance to close out one activity before it rushes to the next. As you look at your schedule, see where you need to create a buffer zone between activities. Even 10-15  minutes gives you’re a chance to complete, rest, and pivot. Then you can show up more attentive and less flustered for your next task or activity.
  2. Stop Overbooking…I said transition time was the biggest offender when it comes to schedule stress, but usually that is because we are overbooking ourselves. Rushing from one thing to the next with no downtime is not sustainable. No wonder moms are exhausted. And it’s not just us. The American Academy of Pediatrics estimates that sleep problems affect 25 to 50 percent of children and 40 percent of adolescents. And when kids are overstimulated by activities or staying up late doing homework due to an overbooked scheduled, it can impact their mental and physical health. Before you add another task or activity to your schedule, ask yourself “is this necessary?” “Is this truly important?” “Will this make me or my family happy?” “Do I honestly have the space for this in my schedule?” If you answer “no” to all of these questions, you need to use tip 3 which is…
  3. Say “NO”…This can take some practice. It may even take a lot of practice. Especially if you are used to being a “yes” mom or a “yes” woman. But protecting your schedule and your margin. Finding time to transition or rest is more important. Stop feeling like saying “no” means you are letting people down and think of saying “no” as a way to say “yes” to you. And your family. And your priorities for home and work life. For a deeper dive on “How to Say No and Why You Need To”, click here to check out my episode from January.
  4. Delegate…And finally, if you feel like your have narrowed down your schedule to the absolute priorities. To the activities that bring you or your family joy. To the tasks that are absolute priorities for your household or business. And yet you still can’t create margin, it may be time to delegate. Where can you employ help so you can complete the tasks without burning out? Who can help you transition or rest between activities? Is there someone you can hire to help with marketing while you take calls? Can a spouse, neighbor or another parent that can drop off for soccer practice so you can complete work or home tasks and have chance to breathe and pivot? Asking for help is not weakness, it’s protection. Say it with me…”asking for help is not weakness, it’s protection.” Who can and will you ask for help so you can protect your time and energy to focus on your priorities at home and at work?

Your action step to create margin in your schedule to protect your time and energy is to look at your schedule for this week, next week, or the coming weeks. Where can you plan transition time? Or adjust to give yourself a buffer zone between appointments and activities? What could you delete or reschedule to keep tasks and activities from slamming into each other? Can you say “no” to any commitments or upcoming activities to help free up some space in your schedule? Or are there tasks you can delegate to a spouse, family member, or team member that can help you stay focused and present rather than scattered and overwhelmed?


Ready to experience better mental, physical, and emotional health without sacrificing additional time and energy? Let’s jump on a free, no-obligation 15-minute clarity call to see how I can help you experience more fun & fulfillment in your work and home life.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE CALL.